2013 - 47

Have you ever loved something SO MUCH you wished you could literally bathe in it? Immerse yourself completely? For example ice cream. Don't you wish you could go for a swim in an olympic-sized pool of praline? If provided nearby shower accessbility? Or maybe the internet. Isn't it so damn fascinating that you sometimes imagine yourself literally living INSIDE the web? Do people even call it that anymore? My age is showing. My nerd is showing. But I know you do! Because so do I.

Well let me share with you the thing I would like to live inside and rarely leave: music. Especially pop music. Not LMFAO, not Katy Perry, not One Direction. I mean hardcore pop: the Beatles, Mozart, Queen, Katy Perry.. wait.. ok, that's not my point. My point is...! I have decided to listen to EVERY Now (That's What I Call Music) album from 1983 to album number 47, released August 6th, 2013. Yes I have. And Yes I have begun. And yes I will share this journey with you.

I must say this though: My path will be strange. I will go by year, and I will alternate. This is nothing less than time travel so it must be well-planned and strategic or else something bad might happen. Like dinosaurs and vikings.. or maybe just synthesizers and shoulder pads. Anyway I will begin with 2013, and then move to 1983. Return to 2012... and then explore 1984. Afterwords we will familiarize ourselves with 2011, and then come to know 1985. And show on and show forth!

Well, I'm excited. No really, like, my nipples are sensitive to the touch excited. Ok maybe you didn't need to know that...

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC 47
August 6, 2013
None of this music means anything to my life. Ok some of it plays at work sometimes.

Icona Pop : I Love It
"I Don't Care -- I love it" So do I. You know, I cannot for the life of me understand why this song is popular. You know, kids these days are so stupid and souless. You know, everything is wrong with them. Everything.

Justin Timberlake : Mirrors
I had only boring things to say about this until the 5:30 mark of this 8 1/2 minute song. Why do I feel so damn cool and so damn inferior at the same time? Wait did I just get fucked by Justin Timberlake? The power of music..?

Mariah Carey : #Beautiful featuring Miguel
Ugh. UGH. It began as an annoying title (does one verbalize "Hashtag Beautiful?") from an uninteresting (if bangin) artist featuring someone I've never heard of (I know, that's my problem) and ended as Meh.

Selena Gomez : Come & Get It
Is this that song that was going to be a Beatles song but ended up not a Beatles song because the Beatles stopped being the Beatles and the gaining band worked for a Beatle? Or no. Oh, no it's strictly Selena Gomez. Good job lady--it's catchy! But what else?

Imagine Dragons : Radioactive
Ahh the lyrics are supposed to be something incredibly epic! Instead it's just a one-dimensional re-wording of Idioteque but I guess that's ok. And it's catchy as a fuckermother.

Bruno Mars : When I Was Your Man
Bruno MF Mars: A melodist, an insturmentalist, a serioust talent -- not a lyricist. Did I mention he can write one hell of a melody?

Labrinth featuring Emeli Sande : Beneath Your Beautiful
This song is a scriptual periphery nightmare. The music is ok. The music is ok.

Zedd : Clarity feautring Foxes
Not hating, but when I first heard this I thought it was Katy Perry. Also when I second heard this. I like it though and the video is great. Foxes must be a DJ or digital musician or dubstepchild or whatever they're calling them nowadays..

Calvin Harris : I Need Your Love featuring Ellie Goulding
Not a fan!

Jason Derulo : The Other Side
Money has been generated; mission has been accomplished.

Ke$ha : Crazy Kids featuring will.i.am
Personal opinion about Ke$ha and her music temporarily withheld. It's mine and you're not ready. You're just not!

Anna Kendrick : Cups
It's like a march, but catchier. And more insidious. And I kind of like it.

Capital Cities : Safe And Sound
Mildly interesting but overall I don't get it. Cool horn-hook-thing though!

Demi Lovato : Heart Attack
Who exactly is the victim of this joke? Planet Earth perhaps. Oh, chorus. Oh my poor, poor chorus. Please return to us. Or don't -- we don't deserve you anymore.

Taylor Swift : 22
I like Taylor. Most of her songs give me good feels and I hear she is actually the primary songwriter of her music. And if so, wow. But this is not so enjoyable. =/

Avril Lavigne : Here's to Never Growing Up
She pronounces Radiohead correctly! No, that's mean. This song sucks.

Well I think I'm going to leave out these "Now! What's Next" things for now. Partly because I'm lazy and partly because that's not why we're here. We're here to grow, remember?? Can't grow with guesses. Unless they're my guesses. Bye.

Inertial Dampeners set to Dork

Have you ever loved something SO MUCH you wished you could literally bathe in it? Immerse yourself completely? For example ice cream. Don't you wish you could go for a swim in an Olympic-sized pool of praline? If provided nearby shower accessibility? Or maybe the internet. Isn't it so damn fascinating that you sometimes imagine yourself literally living INSIDE the web? Do people even call it that anymore? My age is showing. My nerd is showing. But I know you do! Because so do I.

Well let me share with you the thing I would like to live inside and rarely leave: music. Especially pop music. Not LMFAO, not Katy Perry, not One Direction. I mean hardcore pop: the Beatles, Mozart, Queen, Katy Perry.. wait.. ok, that's not my point. My point is...! I have decided to listen to EVERY Now (That's What I Call Music) album from 1983 to album number 47, released August 6th, 2013. Yes I have. And Yes I have begun. And yes I will share this journey with you.

I must say this though: My path will be strange. I will go by year, and I will alternate. This is nothing less than time travel so it must be well-planned and strategic or else something bad might happen. Like dinosaurs and vikings.. or maybe just synthesizers and shoulder pads. Anyway I will begin with 2013, and then move to 1983. Return to 2012... and then explore 1984. Afterwords we will familiarize ourselves with 2011, and then come to know 1985. And show on and show forth! Until we meet in the middle and transcend the limitations of consciousness and graphing calculators.

Well, I'm excited. No really, like, my nipples are sensitive excited. Why are you looking at me like that?? Bye.

Jenny's Sis

So all things have beginnings, but their nomination is arbitrary. Maybe even a little arrogant. Who am I to say this is the beginning of something just because I'm doing it? It's also the end of that tiny slice of free data where this post now is. It's also the end of the high degree of my keyboard's durability prior to composing. It's also the end of this half hour that I spent doing this instead of something else. But for the sake of sanity, it's the erection of a new thought-island in the vast and ever-denser thought-ocean of the internet. So it's new in that sense.

I can't say what I intend to accomplish with this, exactly. Probably some opinions. Maybe some poetry. Maybe some advice. I hope I won't stoop to ranting too often. With luck I will be able to muster the strength necessary to avoid self-sorry expurgatories of existential pain and suffering (though there is so very much!!). Could I entertain? That's up to you. Could I enlighten? That's up to you. Could I grow? Well, of course. Otherwise, what's the point?